She's A Tragedy...

Oh insomnia...this is getting pretty ridiculous. I slept so well this weekend, maybe I used up all my sleep? I don't think that's possible, but here I am yet again: 4 a.m. and I haven't slept a wink. I lay in the dark for about 2 hours before giving up, turning the lamp on, and flicking on the Disney Channel, my erstwhile companion. Yay for The Proud Family and Brandy & Mr. Whiskers!

I ate breakfast at 2:30...my stomach was making noises and was feeling extremely uncomfortable, the warning signs. There's something so soothing about my new ritual of making oatmeal. Oatmeal is my elixir, my comfort. All thanks to the blog universe! Today's mix (and the mix for the rest of the week, no doubt):

5-grain oats (on sale at Whole Foods! I'm so excited about the variety of oatmeals there are...I want to try them all! Buckwheat, amaranth (I love that word), 10-grain, millet...bring it on!)

Lots of cinnamon! Then I pour in some Almond Sunset dessert tea that's been steeping for about a minute. At this point, I stick the bowl in the microwave for a minute (my stove doesn't work!). I love the chewiness of the 5-grain oats.

But no, it doesn't stop there! I've finished my pumpkin and fig spread that was last week's featured special, so this week is 1 spoonful of chocolate chips, and 1/2 a spoonful of Peanut Butter & Co's Dark Chocolate Dreams. A little overdoing it on the chocolate, I admit. But the oats get creamy, and I'm full forever. I take my warm bowl and browse the Internet. Happiness. I have to admit...I love this time of the day. Early morning. I'm in on my own little world, and I get to just sit and eat a comforting bowl of oats while being utterly, deliciously lazy. (Tip: I eat with my left hand so that the oatmeal lasts longer, and I can also use my touchpad on my laptop!)

I also just had two cups of tea using the same teabag I used for the oats. I put 1/2 a packet of Equal in each cup. Before I head to class in a few hours, I may have a snack of frozen blackberries and a dried persimmon. I'm not going to take a bar for lunch today because I had three - count 'em - THREE - bars Sunday (2 zbars and a White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Lunabar). It was my weekend indulgence.

For dinner, I plan to have this: 1 potato bread bun, 2 spoonfuls of guacamole, sprouts, 6 slices of pepperoni, a slice of Emmentaler cheese, S&P. So excited =)

Oh, and sidenote: I've reinvigorated my love for peanut butter! I used to be so scared of this miracle food because it triggered bingeing (ugh), but I've learned to control myself, and I know now that a little goes a long way. Plus, those PB&Co. jars are freaking expensive! My first venture down this product line was Dark Chocolate Dreams. I was surprised by how it wasn't as sweet as I'd expected, like Nutella. It's positively indulgent! I bought White Chocolate Wonderful today at the grocery store (it was on sale!) and I can't wait to try it with my new package of dates.

This is going to be a better year in terms of eating. I know it will be.

I've been pretty good about sticking to my New Year's plan of (1) eating reasonably; (2) not spending so much money on food; (3) being active. Yesterday, I found out that the stove in my apartment doesn't work...it might have to do with the fact that I haven't called in for gas service, even though the stove worked last semester for me. I'm not too worried - I guess I won't be able to cook, but I'll work around it somehow.

Just a quick update before I get back to work! I decided to treat myself to a Starbucks skinny caramel today. That's ok, as long as I don't make it a habit (again).

Need To Get Into the Habit

Ok, I need to remember to stop and take some photos of what I eat BEFORE I eat. Maybe I'm under some delusion that I'll still be able to after it's all gone into my stomach...=P

So another pictureless post. It's 2:00 a.m. I have such a problem staying asleep; I fall zzz around 12 a.m., then wake up a couple hours later thinking I've slept for a long time. Only the clock busts that bubble. Even worse is that I usually am hungry, so I eat. Such a random hour to eat...

So for my "breakfast," I had a single serving of white rice heated in the microwave (320), and topped it with this Japanese fermented soybean, with a drizzle of sesame oil that came with the beans. Ok, you have to see this thing...it looks like some weird alien eggs or something and is, well, slimy. It's all stringy and can get a little messy if you're not careful. It's an acquired taste, I guess...doesn't really taste like much, but it can be a little unnerving (and I've heard, smelly?). Supposedly it's really healthy for you (only 80 calories), and the whole thing, with the rice, at least looked filling. All for health!

Now, I'm having a cup of sugar cookie sleigh tea (I love this discovery!) with 1/2 a packet of Splenda, and a lavender-vanilla French macaron I bought from a bakery yesterday. OMG I love macarons (I love the coconut macaroons, too, but these this cookie ain't). I don't know how lavender-y or vanilla-y the macaron tasted, but it was like biting into essence of a flower. If that makes any sense. The airy, crispy meringue cookie gave way to denser, but still light, ganache. About 4 bites. I savored every one. I still have 4 left, so hopefully I'll remember to take some pictures next time!

Before I head off to school, I'm going to have a glass of wheatgrass powder with water.

To Be Seen...

I was so excited to go to the gym this morning! I didn't stay as long as I had wanted to - only 30 minutes on the elliptical, with some weights - but it still felt good. I love getting up early.

Breakfast was at this trendy restaurant that's usually swarming with trendsetters and wannabes =P. I was meeting my best friend, and we hadn't seen each other for THREE whole weeks! Trust me, that's a long time in our world. We had a 5 minute wait, but we were thoroughly distracted by the beautiful array of cupcakes in the front of the restaurant. It took about 4 seconds to decide we were not leaving without one.

After debating between the granola and eggs, I chose the latter - three eggs overeasy, with a side of beautiful fruit (starfruit, a fig half, berries, grapes, melon, etc.), two slices of turkey bacon (of which I had one), and 2 slices of rye bread (of which I had part of one). I also ordered a luscious chai latte, with two mini cookies that come with it.

We then ordered two cupcakes - a red velvet, of which I had 1/2 (soooo good), and a chocolate-peanut butter, from which I licked some of the frosting off. Not too bad, right?

The rest of the day was spent shopping, but I didn't buy anything. I just had a bag of trail mix from Whole Foods - my favorite: Blend of Enchantment, which is mostly yogurt-covered dried fruits, dried fruit, and chocolate discs. Hoping I'll be able to hold off on the eating until tomorrow. I need to get control of myself!

It Exists...

I was at Whole Foods earlier this week and passed through the bar aisle when an unexpected flash of white caught my eye. Apparently Luna's come out with a new flavor: White Chocolate Macadamia. It took me about two seconds to grab one and head to the checkout.

I didn't find this flavor on the website, so I'm wondering if it's a limited edition? Anyway, I love white chocolate and I love macadamia, so I was really excited to try this one. I'm sorry I don't have a picture of the bar itself, but it was a typical Luna drizzled with white "frosting." I could smell the vanilla scent of white chocolate, mixed with a little coconut, for some reason. It tasted tropical to me - maybe from the macadamia?

Verdict: Yummy. Not as sweet as the Chocolate Raspberry I love, and almost floral and delicate. I didn't taste any macadamia, but the white chocolate was true blue. It was really like candy - maybe like those Cookies 'n Creme bars from Hershey. Too bad though I don't get Lunas all that often - I've found that they don't keep me full the way they're supposed to (we're not going to go into the couple times I ate 3-4 of them in one sitting). I've pretty much cut out bars all together since first trying one last year...if possible, I'd like to fill up on "real" food, just to get into the habit of it. But I can't always be perfect =) I still have some Larabars in my locker at school, which will serve as my lunch on some days.

Go find this elusive Luna!

That's Amore

I need to start up with the pictures soon. It's kind of weird taking pictures of all the random crap I've been eating while at home, though...once I get to school, it'll be much easier =)

Tonight I had the most fabulous dinner with my mom. For the first time in a long while, I let go of my fears and just made it a goal to enjoy myself and try everything. Cross your fingers!

We went to this little hole-in-the-wall Italian places, one of those shabby-on-the-outside, but quite romantic-on-the-inside restaurants that serve true-blue Italian cuisine. My mom was friends with one of the waiters there, and he was so lovely all night. He gave my mom a glass of red wine early on in the evening, and then later surprised me with a glass of sparkling wine. Free alcohol? Yes please!

My mom and I split three courses, all of which were truly scrumptious, I only wish I had pictures! The first was a salad with carpaccio in a lemon dressing, followed by mushroom ravioli drenched in a pistachio-cream sauce (soooo good, with bits of pistachio). Our final course was veal scallopine, which was the first time I'd ever had veal. Quite good.

And of course my mom somehow had dessert in front of me before I could even blink an eye. Omar (our waiter) brought out a beautiful presentation of chocolate-hazelnut gelato with two thin cookies stuck in it. It was frozen Nutella, only with little pieces of actual hazelnut. I wish I could go into more detail, but I'm so sleepy after that wonderful meal! I promise, I'm a much better writer than this (or so I like to think haha).

It was such a freeing thing, to be able to eat for the pure pleasure of it, rather than for the necessity of keeping myself alive. Why is it so hard for me?